I cut my chest open and exposed my bones to you, and you held each rib tenderly. You broke every bone in my body and I loved you, not despite, but because of it.
20|| CA. || 06/02/16
To some people, the act of falling in love is very much like falling into pieces. For when they love, they love all of you. They do not abandon any parts of you, they take you for who you are entirely. And when the night comes to tuck the sun into the moon, they tuck your brokenness into their bones even if they wake up in pieces in the morning. Those people, they are build to break each time they fall in love.
I cut my chest open and exposed my bones to you, and you held each rib tenderly. You broke every bone in my body and I loved you, not despite, but because of it.
I swear to god I’ve tried to cry you straight out of my heart, and laugh you right out of my lungs but you’re so incredibly stuck inside me that even scratching at my skin won’t set you free.
different kinds of tired:
1. all day at the beach sleepy. warm skin. wet hair. salt and sand and green apple-scented shampoo. bed sheet tides pulling up and down stomach flips into mermaid dreams.
2. milky tired. early nights. wondering if you are getting sick. medicine light bones. eyelids melting closed. dizzy, dizzy, spinning into sleep.
3. drowsy car rides. soft radio buzz. pillow on the window. pulling on your seatbelt. waking up and not knowing where you are.
4. college tired. forget what you are doing. no amount of coffee really helps. messy hair. nothing is making sense. passed out in class.
I used to swear I would never spend every night drinking away the pain but I find myself emptying six packs of beer like they are nothing more than juice. It’s easier to get high than to feel the pain creeping into my bones and to be completely honest I don’t feel your absence as much when I can’t stop laughing. I can’t sleep without taking sleeping pills or night syrup anymore and I don’t know if I’m getting crazy but I swear my head hurts every single day now. The last year was awful and bad habits have become habits that I just can’t shake off. My heart is so broken I don’t even feel it’s beating anymore. I need to get away from this place. You made my life a living hell.
Self care is listening to the same song thirty thousand times in a row